Freud / Madmen
FREUD: THE REBRANDING.
BY JIM STALLARD
- - - -
[Conference room in the new office suite for Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. ANNA FREUD, DON DRAPER, PETE CAMPBELL, PEGGY OLSON, and HARRY CRANE are present.]
DON DRAPER: Miss Freud, we appreciate your making the trip all the way here from London. (Holds out pack of Pall Malls.) Care for one?
ANNA FREUD: No thank you. I'm surprised you don't smoke Lucky Strikes. Didn't you bring that account with you when you started this firm? Or is there something I don't know?
DRAPER: (Dismissively) Sometimes a cigarette is just a cigarette. I must say, we were surprised to receive your call. Your father's brand seems as dominant as ever. I wouldn't think you need to tell the world about his theories—they're already on everyone's mind.
FREUD: Well, as you know, we've dominated psychology for decades. But lately we've begun losing our share of the market to Behaviorism. People want a more comforting interpretation of their lives. They don't want to be told that they're suppressing base urges, or that their problems can be traced back to how they learned to use the toilet.
DRAPER: But that's always been your identity. People think of Freudian insights as rising above the crowd. It's an attitude that says, "I'm educated. I'm not a mechanic." I don't think you toy with that.
FREUD: Society is changing. At our last board meeting, we decided we have to reposition ourselves. We want to promote our expertise in dreams. We want people to see them as the means to discover themselves, and that Freud will show them how.
PEGGY OLSON: When I was a girl, I always lay in bed in the morning thinking over the dream I just had. It was the happiest part of my day.
FREUD: (Brightening) That's the feel that we're looking for. People want a lift, and we give it to them.
OLSON: You could have a slogan like, "Dare to Dream." Or "Full Dream Ahead."
DRAPER: (Annoyed) That sounds like a carnival ride.
HARRY CRANE: The TV spots have great potential. We don't have to be realistic. Think about the dream sequence in Spellbound—people won't forget a commercial like that. We'll put them in all the soaps. We know women prefer fantasy over reality.
PETE CAMPBELL: And there could be separate ads targeting the Negro market. A dream where a Negro couple is playing doubles at the country club.
DRAPER: Miss Freud, I think you need to remember the long view. Your brand represents something eternal. Today, this year, even this decade, dreams may be popular. But men are always going to want to sleep with their mother and kill their father. People are always going to be scared of death and cope with it through displacement.
FREUD: It sounds as if you don't want our business. You know I could walk across the street and—
DRAPER: Of course we want your business. You're an institution. I just don't want you to throw away your reputation—you're not Norman Vincent Peale. But obviously we're not happy unless the client is happy.
FREUD: That's what I hoped to hear. (She reaches into a satchel and withdraws sheets of paper.) Now, this is just something I sketched on the plane—cartoon characters for the id, ego and superego. You know how Kellogg's has those three little men for the cereal?
[DRAPER gets up and leaves.]
- - -
[The following morning. BERT COOPER sits in his office with ROGER STERLING. DRAPER enters.]
BERT COOPER: Have a seat, Don. (Fiddles at his desk.) Roger and I are just trying to figure out who keeps using my Zen garden as an ashtray.
ROGER STERLING: We've ruled out Salvatore because there's no lipstick on the butts. My money's on Campbell.
DRAPER: I think I know what this is about. I don't like helping clients take themselves over a cliff. At the very least, I think we should try to talk them out of it. Do we want to be known for one of the worst campaigns in history?
COOPER: I learned a long time ago in this business that you can't always choose your dance partner. And if they insist on leading, you let them.
STERLING: Believe it or not, that's how the whole thing works. They pay us lots of money and get the privilege of bossing us around. We get the privilege of taking their money.
COOPER: It's also good for the firm, despite what you think. Adversity brings toughness. The Japanese say After the rain, the earth hardens.
DRAPER: (To Cooper) What about your honor? You're letting this woman give us a terrible idea and we're supposed to say it's wonderful. No wonder you had to get that Rothko and Japanese art for your office. You're compensating. Do you even know who you are anymore?
STERLING: My God, listen to him. He's more Freud than the Freuds.
COOPER: Don, I hardly think it's wise of you to start talking about a man's identity. Our new client would say you're engaging in projection. And you're not arguing from a position of strength, if you follow me.
[DRAPER goes to the wall and removes a samurai sword.]
COOPER: Let's not do anything rash now, Don.
STERLING: That's it for me. I've got an 11:30 martini. (Quickly walks out.)
DRAPER: (Eerily calm) I'm the one who has been using your Zen garden. I've come in here late a few times after five or six drinks, and the urge got to me. I know you took me under your wing and mentored me ... but I'm starting to realize you're my enemy.
COOPER: Calm down, son. Don't you see what is happening? This is the oldest story in the book. You're just acting out on a deep-seated—
DRAPER: STOP IT. I can't stand here and listen to another hypocritical role model ...
COOPER: (Soothing) It's all right, Don. What do you mean by "another"?
DRAPER: It's just that ... I never had ... you were like ... Oh ... ( He drops sword and falls sobbing into COOPER's arms.) ... Daddy ...
COOPER: For God's sake, Don, can't we get through one week without you doing this?
- - - -
From www.mcsweeneys.net/
posted by kramer at 7:09 PM
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FREUD: THE REBRANDING.
BY JIM STALLARD
- - - -
[Conference room in the new office suite for Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce. ANNA FREUD, DON DRAPER, PETE CAMPBELL, PEGGY OLSON, and HARRY CRANE are present.]
DON DRAPER: Miss Freud, we appreciate your making the trip all the way here from London. (Holds out pack of Pall Malls.) Care for one?
ANNA FREUD: No thank you. I'm surprised you don't smoke Lucky Strikes. Didn't you bring that account with you when you started this firm? Or is there something I don't know?
DRAPER: (Dismissively) Sometimes a cigarette is just a cigarette. I must say, we were surprised to receive your call. Your father's brand seems as dominant as ever. I wouldn't think you need to tell the world about his theories—they're already on everyone's mind.
FREUD: Well, as you know, we've dominated psychology for decades. But lately we've begun losing our share of the market to Behaviorism. People want a more comforting interpretation of their lives. They don't want to be told that they're suppressing base urges, or that their problems can be traced back to how they learned to use the toilet.
DRAPER: But that's always been your identity. People think of Freudian insights as rising above the crowd. It's an attitude that says, "I'm educated. I'm not a mechanic." I don't think you toy with that.
FREUD: Society is changing. At our last board meeting, we decided we have to reposition ourselves. We want to promote our expertise in dreams. We want people to see them as the means to discover themselves, and that Freud will show them how.
PEGGY OLSON: When I was a girl, I always lay in bed in the morning thinking over the dream I just had. It was the happiest part of my day.
FREUD: (Brightening) That's the feel that we're looking for. People want a lift, and we give it to them.
OLSON: You could have a slogan like, "Dare to Dream." Or "Full Dream Ahead."
DRAPER: (Annoyed) That sounds like a carnival ride.
HARRY CRANE: The TV spots have great potential. We don't have to be realistic. Think about the dream sequence in Spellbound—people won't forget a commercial like that. We'll put them in all the soaps. We know women prefer fantasy over reality.
PETE CAMPBELL: And there could be separate ads targeting the Negro market. A dream where a Negro couple is playing doubles at the country club.
DRAPER: Miss Freud, I think you need to remember the long view. Your brand represents something eternal. Today, this year, even this decade, dreams may be popular. But men are always going to want to sleep with their mother and kill their father. People are always going to be scared of death and cope with it through displacement.
FREUD: It sounds as if you don't want our business. You know I could walk across the street and—
DRAPER: Of course we want your business. You're an institution. I just don't want you to throw away your reputation—you're not Norman Vincent Peale. But obviously we're not happy unless the client is happy.
FREUD: That's what I hoped to hear. (She reaches into a satchel and withdraws sheets of paper.) Now, this is just something I sketched on the plane—cartoon characters for the id, ego and superego. You know how Kellogg's has those three little men for the cereal?
[DRAPER gets up and leaves.]
- - -
[The following morning. BERT COOPER sits in his office with ROGER STERLING. DRAPER enters.]
BERT COOPER: Have a seat, Don. (Fiddles at his desk.) Roger and I are just trying to figure out who keeps using my Zen garden as an ashtray.
ROGER STERLING: We've ruled out Salvatore because there's no lipstick on the butts. My money's on Campbell.
DRAPER: I think I know what this is about. I don't like helping clients take themselves over a cliff. At the very least, I think we should try to talk them out of it. Do we want to be known for one of the worst campaigns in history?
COOPER: I learned a long time ago in this business that you can't always choose your dance partner. And if they insist on leading, you let them.
STERLING: Believe it or not, that's how the whole thing works. They pay us lots of money and get the privilege of bossing us around. We get the privilege of taking their money.
COOPER: It's also good for the firm, despite what you think. Adversity brings toughness. The Japanese say After the rain, the earth hardens.
DRAPER: (To Cooper) What about your honor? You're letting this woman give us a terrible idea and we're supposed to say it's wonderful. No wonder you had to get that Rothko and Japanese art for your office. You're compensating. Do you even know who you are anymore?
STERLING: My God, listen to him. He's more Freud than the Freuds.
COOPER: Don, I hardly think it's wise of you to start talking about a man's identity. Our new client would say you're engaging in projection. And you're not arguing from a position of strength, if you follow me.
[DRAPER goes to the wall and removes a samurai sword.]
COOPER: Let's not do anything rash now, Don.
STERLING: That's it for me. I've got an 11:30 martini. (Quickly walks out.)
DRAPER: (Eerily calm) I'm the one who has been using your Zen garden. I've come in here late a few times after five or six drinks, and the urge got to me. I know you took me under your wing and mentored me ... but I'm starting to realize you're my enemy.
COOPER: Calm down, son. Don't you see what is happening? This is the oldest story in the book. You're just acting out on a deep-seated—
DRAPER: STOP IT. I can't stand here and listen to another hypocritical role model ...
COOPER: (Soothing) It's all right, Don. What do you mean by "another"?
DRAPER: It's just that ... I never had ... you were like ... Oh ... ( He drops sword and falls sobbing into COOPER's arms.) ... Daddy ...
COOPER: For God's sake, Don, can't we get through one week without you doing this?
- - - -
From www.mcsweeneys.net/
posted by kramer at 7:09 PM
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